What I Really Want This Mother’s Day

My life is busy and sometimes I feel like I’m on duty 24/7. Between full-time work, kids, family events and blogging, I feel like a hamster on a wheel.  Shalini and Shivam are 13 and 9 and even though I’m not needed in the same way as when they were younger, I still have to be hands on.

My day is split in to three; there’s the morning shift, followed by a full day at work and then I return home to start on the evening shift. This is all before I can even take a couple of precious hours for myself. By then, all I want to do is plonk down on the sofa and watch TV (although some evenings I’m working on my blog).

So this Mother’s Day there is a specific list of things I want. I don’t want flowers. They will just die after a few days. I don’t want luxury candles or bath bombs. I have plenty of those. And I certainly don’t want chocolates or jewellery either because I can get those for myself if I want them.Shalini, Shivam And I In The Dominican RepublicI spoke to at least ten other mums while preparing this post and discussed my simple wishlist with them. They were in agreement with a lot of it and I was quite surprised at how little us mums actually want. In fact, most of us weren’t after materialistic things on Mothering Sunday.

So this is what I really want this Mother’s Day:

A GUILT-FREE LIE-IN

I would love, love, LOVE a long lie-in without having to get up to prepare Sunday morning breakfast. I try to have a lie-in on Sundays as much as I can but the guilt gets me all too quickly. It means I can’t actually sleep, knowing Shivam’s been downstairs for a while and most likely needing breakfast. Shalini isn’t usually up before 11 on a weekend and neither is Sukh.

I’ve tried getting Shivam to fix his own cereal at least but he’d rather go hungry than have to do something for himself! He’s been spoiled, to say the least. I will have to make an active effort to teach him the basics. Shalini was already doing so much for herself by his age.

NO CHORES OR ERRANDS

A day off from any housework or chores whatsoever would be amazing! That means no laundry, washing-up or ironing the kids’ uniforms. It means a day off from running errands or doing anything that means getting my hands dirty.

I don’t want to have to shop or put anything away, to chop, peel or cut anything. I don’t want to be booking school dinners online or sorting out Shalini’s dinner money. A work-free day, that’s what I want. These jobs still need doing but I don’t want to be the one doing them.

PRO-ACTIVE KIDS

It’s not an unreasonable request to expect the kids to just clean up after themselves or tidy their rooms without being asked over and over again, is it? Normally when Shivam is done with his food, he leaves his plate where it is until one of us nags him to take it in to the kitchen. Shalini leaves her bed untidy until she’s told. The dishes pile up in the sink until Sukh or I wash them.

It would be amazing if the kids, just for one day, washed up or picked up after themselves, instead of leaving everything wherever they dump it during the day – because of course, Mummy will do it eventually.

KISSES AND CUDDLES

I would absolutely love for the kids to shower me with tons of kisses and cuddles – but they have to be voluntary. Shivam rarely gives me hugs anymore unless I ask. Sometimes he will surprise me and give me the sweetest cuddle. And he will give me a quick kiss when he’s in a good mood (and when no one else is watching!). He can be a really sweet boy when he wants to be. But most of the time, he tells me this is not what big boys do.

Shalini gives me at least one hug a day but on Mothering Sunday, I want lots more! A little affection from the kids is the simplest, yet sweetest thing in the world. If I’m having a bad day, just some attention from the people who mean the most to me, is enough to turn it around.

NO ARGUMENTS

I can’t remember the kids being friends all day long for years. Even when they were both younger and got along better than they do now, there would be the odd row. That’s the norm in most households, I’m sure. But I just want one day without a single argument, where I don’t have to step in to referee. And if there is a fight, I don’t want to have to deal with it and be accused by one child of loving the other more.

As most parents will know, you can never win this particular battle. Even when I decide to leave them to fight it out and totally step away, I get accused of not loving either of them because I don’t care enough to stop their fight. That’s something that brings them together for a few short seconds, I suppose. But wouldn’t it be bliss, if there wasn’t a single raised voice in the house for just one day?The kids and I on a boat ride in Stratford-Upon-Avon

A LOVELY WALK

Sometimes we like to go for a walk in our nearby park/nature reserve. For the most part, we enjoy it but it doesn’t happen as often as I would like. When we do venture out though, there’s usually a bit of bickering along the way and when we pass a dog, all hell breaks loose. Both of the kids are scared stiff of all dogs, whatever their size. Sukh and I have tried really hard for them to overcome their fear but nothing works.

Shivam would rather run in to the road than pass a dog on the street. We need to find another way of sorting this problem out – but it won’t be on Mother’s Day. It doesn’t put Shivam off from going for a walk, but it can be stressful whilst we’re out and that’s something I want to avoid at all costs.

A LEISURELY LUNCH

It would be so lovely to have a nice family lunch where I don’t have to worry about those household chores or a long to-do list that needs completing as soon as we get home. If I get everything I desire on my wish-list, I won’t have to. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive and I’m not even fussed about where we go. I just want to be able to sit with Sukh and the kids, laughing and joking, discussing our lives and making plans. Those are my favourite times, when we just chat about anything and everything and just get along.

FAMILY MOVIE TIME

Saturday nights are usually movie nights. Sometimes we have family events to attend or one of us is out but we try to make it happen as often as possible. It would be nice if we could do this on Mother’s Day. It would have to be in the late afternoon or early evening as it’s still a Sunday night.

We usually struggle to agree on the film we want to watch and sometimes movie night takes ages to get underway. It would be great if we could all decide the film we want to watch a few days before so there’s no time-wasting and everyone is happy. And of course, a lovely evening meal not cooked by me, would be great.

FUSS-FREE BEDTIME

It would be heaven for Shivam to just go to bed on time without creating a fuss or throwing a tantrum. Sunday nights are the worst because he’s so relaxed at the weekend, he’s not tired when the clock strikes 8pm. Then it’s an uphill task of getting him to do his night time routine. Asking once, twice or three times is simply not enough. We have to physically go upstairs sometimes to make sure he brushes his teeth, gets in to bed and read for a bit before lights out.

As he delays the inevitable, I find myself getting angrier by the second. And then we say good night with him not being my friend. I hate having him go off to sleep believing I’m the world’s worst mum, so for once, I really wish he will just say ‘OK’ and get on with it.

NO REMINDERS OF MY MUM FAILS

I’m human and of course I make mistakes like everybody else. Sometimes I forget to do something for the kids’ school or say no to something the kids want to do. They resent me afterwards but that’s called being a parent. As most parents will know, kids  just tell you how you’ve failed them. They don’t care whether they’ve hurt your feelings or that you’re trying your best. They don’t understand you’re saying no because their safety comes before everything else.

On Mother’s Day, I would like my kids to tell me all the things I’ve done right, instead of pointing out the things I’ve done wrong. I’d like them to tell me why they need me, why they appreciate me and the things I do that make them feel safe and loved. Just for one day kids, don’t remind me of my mum fails.The kids and I at a restaurantSo there it is. It’s not too big an ask, right? These things don’t cost money (except for lunch and even then I’m not expecting a slap-up meal). I’ve written the list and put it out to the universe. Let’s see what Mothering Sunday brings.

Have you read my post on ways to strengthen your relationship with your teen yet? Click here.

30 Comments

  1. stickymudandbellylaughs
    March 24, 2019 / 7:47 pm

    Can totally relate to these Rosie! A day without arguments would be a fab start! Hope they all come true for you on Mother’s Day x

    Thanks for sharing with #MMBC. ?

    • Rosie
      Author
      March 25, 2019 / 9:11 pm

      Thank you – here’s hoping x

  2. March 24, 2019 / 10:46 pm

    I would love for my kids to do the dishes without being asked. My youngest son sounds like your boy. He will leave his dirty dishes where he ate and doesn’t clean up until I nag him to do so. Sometimes we just want our kids to step up a little. Happy Mother’s Day! #MMBC

    • Rosie
      Author
      March 25, 2019 / 9:11 pm

      Thanks for reading Michelle. Yes, I would love for him to step up a little. In fact, yesterday I made him clean all the skirting boards in the house and polish his surfaces in his room. He did it begrudgingly but he did a good job. I will now introduce small chores in to his day and especially at weekends x

  3. March 25, 2019 / 5:56 pm

    I love this list! I’m not a mom yet but even with just running a household I can definitely relate. Hope you get some of these items on your list this Mother’s Day :). You sound like a wonderful mom. Love seeing these photos of you and your beautiful children!

    • Rosie
      Author
      March 25, 2019 / 9:09 pm

      Thank you so much for reading and complimenting me as a mum. You can never hear that often enough. The material things used to mean something to me but now I just want a lovely day with my family x

  4. March 25, 2019 / 9:22 pm

    YES! Most especially a very long guilt-free lie-in #globalblogging

    • Rosie
      Author
      March 26, 2019 / 12:54 pm

      Oh how I wish this will come true on Sunday x

  5. March 26, 2019 / 1:53 am

    They grow up too fast! Remember when they were toddlers and all about hugs and kisses and couldn’t hug you enough? I have to ask for hugs too now and mine are 4 and 5 years old. Makes me a little sad.

    • Rosie
      Author
      March 26, 2019 / 12:55 pm

      I know Alice. It’s so upsetting to have to ask them for cuddles now when they used to just launch themselves at me x

  6. Jazz
    March 26, 2019 / 6:25 pm

    Great post. A lie-in will be the bestest present ever and a cup of masala chai in bed. Aarev loves to wash up. Every time he sees dishes in the sink he asks to wash up – the exact opposite with my daughter Jiya, lol.

    • Rosie
      Author
      April 1, 2019 / 7:15 pm

      Thanks Jazz. Yes a lie-in is the best! Bless Aarev – so cute that he volunteers for housework x

  7. March 26, 2019 / 11:21 pm

    I think these things are must haves for everyone especially moms with kids in the house. I was just reading how much damage stress does so maybe have a another go at the bath bombs and Yankee candles. Kids can be surprisingly supportive when you least expect it.

    • Rosie
      Author
      April 1, 2019 / 7:14 pm

      I do love a good bath bomb and my candles. I have plenty of them in the house and like nothing more than a soak in the tub, candle on and a book in hand x

  8. March 27, 2019 / 8:12 am

    Oh for a day where no chores are required!!! I want to sit on my throne and only move for a bath or a nap!!!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week!

    • Rosie
      Author
      April 1, 2019 / 7:14 pm

      Ha ha – that throne only comes off once a year in my house – or twice if you count my birthday. I could do with it at least once a week! x

  9. March 31, 2019 / 4:27 pm

    These are all wonderful requests to make for a lovely mother’s day. I have had very similar requests myself, but I have yet to get them. Your kids sound a lot like mine. It frustrates me that I sound like a broken record. I don’t remember my mom sounding like one when I was growing up.

    • Rosie
      Author
      April 1, 2019 / 7:12 pm

      It’s terrible how quickly they resort to arguing or ignoring simple tasks! I talk to my friends and they say the same about their kids. I know I wasn’t an angel growing up, but I certainly don’t remember being this bad! x

  10. Tracey Carr
    March 31, 2019 / 7:56 pm

    I absolutely agree with everything you have listed and couldn’t agree more – I am not into material things when it comes to Mother’s Day either. It really is all about the simple things for a lot of mums. I wish we went for more leisurely walks too. Oh and the fuss-free bedtimes, I know all about that one. When you do get a nice calm one it is the best thing in the world! I hope you got at least some of what you wished for, especially the extras hugs and cuddles! Happy Mother’s Day! #ablogginggoodtime

    • Rosie
      Author
      April 1, 2019 / 7:10 pm

      I wish I could have a fuss-free bedtime every night but I know that’s an impossible ask! I got a few of the things I wanted – a lie-in, no cooking or errands so I’m fairly happy x

  11. March 31, 2019 / 9:21 pm

    I hope you got the Mother’s Day you wanted. I usually get a lie in at the weekned but the guilt is awful. This morning I was awake between 5 and 6.30 dealing with the kids being confused by the clock change! Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging

    • Rosie
      Author
      April 1, 2019 / 7:09 pm

      Thanks Laura – yes I got a fair few things on the list so I’m as happy as I can be. The clocks changing meant I lost an hour though x

  12. April 1, 2019 / 8:32 am

    Oh for a lie in!! actually scratch that, oh for a lie in without anybody else in the bed!! #TwinklyTuesday

    • Rosie
      Author
      April 1, 2019 / 7:08 pm

      Yes I know! I actually got one this Mother’s Day though, so I’m happy 🙂

  13. April 1, 2019 / 11:48 am

    Yes please to all of these please Rosie! Hope you got some of them at least! x #twinklytuesday

    • Rosie
      Author
      April 1, 2019 / 7:08 pm

      Lol thanks Kate. I got a fair few of them so I’m happy x

  14. April 1, 2019 / 9:38 pm

    This sounds like a reasonable list and I hope you get it! #DreamTeam

    • Rosie
      Author
      May 7, 2019 / 1:04 pm

      Thanks Heather. I got half of the things I wanted – so not bad!

  15. April 3, 2019 / 9:00 pm

    All what I would want! Especially no arguments and a guilt free lie in: maybe next year… Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama

    • Rosie
      Author
      May 7, 2019 / 1:00 pm

      I got half of the things I wanted. Here’s to a full house next year!

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